"Peep Show"

I just got back from Walmart. I could probably end this entry right here and not go one word further and you guys could probably figure out where this might be going...but...here it goes.

 

I am a Wal-martian...I can't... help it. I try to avoid it but in America there is this imaginary magnet in a Wal-mart shopping center that gravitates mothers in. I am a firm believer if you weren't on the Autism Spectrum initially, after an hour in Wal-mart you will leave with a clinical diagnosis of ASD and you will need some deep pressure therapy. So I totally get it when my ASD child freaks out in there. But...that doesn't stop me...oh no...I think I am gonna when this battle. I just keep coming back for more. And...he wore his famous T-shirt today...the one that reads..."I am not naughty. I have Autism. Please be Understanding." The problem is when sitting in the shopping cart the cart belt covers the line that says "I am Autistic". So all the shirt reads to some stranger is..."I am not Naughty. Please Be Understanding". Does anyone else see the humor here?

 

So here is this toddler wailing and thrashing around in the cart...screaming at the top of his lungs. Gummy bears flying everywhere. I opened some marshmellow Peeps that were in the middle of an aisle on an Easter display and shoved one in his mouth and he pulled it out and threw it in the floor. Everyone is staring now...not sure if it is because of the GINORMOUS meltdown or because they saw me shove a Peep in my sons mouth, but I digress.  Anyhoo, I pick the line with the lady that loaded all her stuff on the belt and then forgot something (story of my life). I had already put a third of my stuff on the belt behind hers so I couldn't get in another lane and here is Logan just screaming his head off...face red as a beet and I am going..."its ok...we're almost done....don't cry...that's it...it's going to be ok...just another minute (in my yoga voice).

 

Then it happened like the snap of a branch from an oak tree during a hurricane.  The lady behind me bent down and looked my son in the face and grabbed him by the shoe and said "Somebody sure is spoiled".  I said, "No, he has Autism. Think before you speak."  She then said the same thing everyone always says when I respond that way..."Oh...I didn't know".  Of course you didn't, Moron, the belt was covering up his t-shirt (insert sarcasm).  Why would she know?  Oh, I know...because he wasn't drooling or having a seizure or solving a crime for our local police department using Morse Code.  Oh the stereotypes.  Maybe it was because I didn't have his medical records taped to the back of my shirt along with all of his therapy treatment plans.  I am really not sure why she "didn't know".  Next time I will not even bother to explain...I will just keep one extra "Peep" on hand.