Lysol, Magic Erasers, and Tears

Many of us moms raising children on the spectrum have had their fair-share of mishaps, but nothing takes the cake like a child that enjoys the smell, taste, and feel of their own poop. 

I can tolerate the meltdowns.  I can conquer the headbutting.  I can even shake my head when my child, who craves sensory stimulation, sticks his fingers in his spaghetti and meatballs.  But, I cannot get used to the idea that my child's idea of a good time is finger-painting me a mosaic out of turd.

This all started about six weeks ago and it happened with a single isolated episode.  I layed my son down for a nap and when I came back to get him an hour later I thought I had stumbled upon the Apocalypse.   Feces was smeared from the top of his head all the way down inbetween his tiny toes.  He had a Groucho Marx mustache made out of dingleberries.  Even after extensive restoration and steaming and sandblasting I still found poop inside his ear three days later.  It's okay, I told myself.  He is just exploring.  Lots of toddlers check out their diapers at least once in their life.  No biggie!

A couple of weeks later...it happened again.  And then again.  And then again.  Now it had gone from biweekly to Daily!!!!  What went from a random occurrance or two was turning into part of our daily schedule. 

9:00am...speech therapy...10:00am...Occupational Therapy...11:30am...Lunch...12:00pm...Nap...12:15...Art and Personal Expression.   

I felt like the Dunkin Doughnuts guy..."Time to Clean The Pooooop!".  It was becoming a cycle.

Lunch...Nap...Poop...Bath...Clean Crib...Lunch...Nap...Poop...Bath...Clean Crib. 

I was actually beginning to taste the Lysol.  I am not sure how much exposure to Lysol is appropriate.  After three straight days of cleaning up stinky we sat down to eat dinner and my husband asked how is the chicken and I told him is tasted like "fresh citrus".  I had also gone through an entire box of Magic Erasers.  You know, the little square block of a sponge that will usually take the grease out of a biscuit.  Yeah...somewhere on the box it should read...will erase your regrets, memory, bank account, but does not erase SHIT.

The final straw finally came when I went into my sons room and found him, yet again, stark naked and covered in poop. I felt the tears begin to pour down my face.  I have been working with my son on expressing emotions and he immediately shouted "Sad!!!" when he saw me crying.  I said, "Yes, Mommy is Sad and Mad!" very dramatically.  He then started laughing and smiling just like he always does when he doesn't recognize that I am not pleased with him.  He then began to walk around the crib and say "Round and Round" and clap for himself.  I always clap for him when he tries to sing wheels on the bus...but this time I did not clap.  I just continued to scrub the poop off the crib bars.  He then tried to touch my face with his little brown fingers.  Just as I tried to step away from him I felt my bare foot squish right down into a pile of poop.  "That's It!!!!", I shouted.  I can not take this anymore.

Later, after a bath and more cleaning, I went online and searched through several websites and found http://www.ikidsfashions.com/ and they have the most wonderful one piece jumpsuits that zip up the back.  I ordered three and anxiously awaited their arrival.  They arrived quickly and I was so impressed with the quality of the suits and crossed my fingers and said a short prayer and then dressed my son in the Wonder Jumper for bedtime.  He immediately began pulling on it trying to figure out where the entrance and exit was and when he could find none he began to scream and throw a ginormous fit.  I was unmoved by his anger and after about ten minutes all was quiet.  I came in to get him the next morning and the jumpsuit was intact and better still...there was no poop!  As soon as he saw me he pulled on the jumpsuit and said very emphatically..."Mad!!!".  Oh well...scratch your butt, little man, and get glad!!!

I would like to report that I have now retired the Lysol, Magic Erasers, and the tears and replaced them with the Wonder Jumper!  We are on day two of success and I pray our days of brown expression are over!