A Fish Called Spongebob

In the days leading up to Memorial Day weekend I felt almost as if I couldn't breathe.  Three day weekend...routines off schedule...and dysfunction...no thanks!  I literally dread holidays or extended weekends where two of my children on the spectrum are going to be turned inside out.  While most people are packing their suitcases, booking hotel rooms, lounging on the beach, or riding some waves, we are stuck at home on a rigid routine. 

This weekend was no differently planned.  I tried to focus on how I could keep things normal and structured.  Now I wasn't going to let a beautiful; warm North Carolina weekend go by without some water play so we did hang out by our backyard pool most of the weekend and I immediately began to see that the pool was the answer to most of my routine issues.  I kept all of our boys in the pool most the weekend making sure to break for lunch and for my youngest son's nap at the appropriate times and somehow managed to keep everyone on course.  As long as Logan is splashing in water he doesn't even think about his Yo Gabba Gabba fixation.  In fact...we only had to look at Yo Gabba Gabba first thing in the morning before breakfast and right after dinner before bedtime.  It was nice to get a break from the insanity for once. 

Logan has been hanging out in his baby pool for the last couple of weeks and he loves it.  He could sit there and splash for hours if we would let him.  This weekend we decided to try in him the big pool and I was nervous that it may overwhelm him and might ruin his want to ever get back in the water again.  But just like with everything else in the world of autism...we have to try.  I slowly eased him into the water with me and began to walk around the pool with him slowly letting him get used to the feel of it all.  He was quiet to start with and then once he realized he was fine he began to squeal and laugh.  Then he began to kick his feet and splash.  After about 20-30 minutes he was trying to break out of my arms and wanted to swim and paddle on his own.  He wanted nothing to do with the pool floats.  This child truly wanted to swim and wanted no help from me or his dad.

It was amazing to me and was definitely wonderful to see him so happy and excited about something new.   It also struck a chord of fear in me.  If he is this fearless how will I keep him out of the pool when we aren't looking?  I could tell immediately that we are going to have problems.  After taking him out of the pool he layed down in the grass and began to convulse.  Screaming, headbanging, and legs thrashing everytime we had to pull him off the bottom rung of the ladder.  It was now crystal clear to me that the pool ladder will have to removed after every swim and that we are going to have to put latches on both the front and back doors to prevent Logan from being able to get outside on his own.  We received a Big Red Safety Box from the National Autism Association that included two door chimes.  We really didn't think we would need them anytime soon, but after seeing our son's new facination with water it looks like those chimes are going to be needed sooner than later. 

But this is alright.  We knew there would be things like this that we would encounter along the road.  We new there would be things he would be overly interested in just like the things that he has aversions for.  I am not so scared for his safety that I will deny him the enjoyment of the swimming pool.  This child needs happiness and pleasure in his world of torment and confusion.  I will not deny him that.  I will just continue to be the overly-cautious, proactive mother that I have been and I will continue to second-guess his every move.  It is worth it to see one second of pure joy on his little face.